Raven got run over by a reindeer and other songs!
by DoctorFritz
Summary: Christmas song parodies written by Beastboy, you can tell by the awful rhyming! WARNING: Contains Raven bashing! RobxStar RavxBb LAST CHAP UP!
1. Raven Got Run Over By A Reindeer!

_Raven Got Run Over By A Reindeer_

_WARNING: This contains Raven bashing. If you are a Raven fan, LEAVE NOW!!!_

_Starfire sings:_

_Raven got run over by a reindeer__  
__Walking out from the tower Christmas Eve. __  
__You can say there is no such thing as Santa,__  
__But as for me and Beast boy, we believe.__  
_  
**She got into a fight with Beast boy,****  
****And we begged her not to go.****  
****She forgot to do her meditation,****  
****And she stomped out the door****  
****into the snow. ****  
  
****When we found her Christmas morning,****  
****At the scene of the attack****  
****She had hoof prints on her forehead,****  
****And incriminating Claus marks****  
****on her back.**

_Raven got run over by a reindeer__  
__Walking out from the tower Christmas Eve. __  
__You can say there is no such thing as Santa,__  
__But as for me and Beast boy, we believe.__  
_

**Now we're all so proud of Beast boy, ****  
****He's been taking this so well. ****  
****See him in there eating tofu, ****  
****Playing video games****  
****with friend, Cyborg. ****  
  
****It's not Christmas without Raven, ****  
****All my friends are dressed in black. ****  
****And we just can not help but wonder ****  
****Should we open up her gifts****  
****or send them back?****  
****SEND THEM BACK!!! **  
  
_Raven got run over by a reindeer__  
__Walking out from the tower Christmas Eve. __  
__You can say there is no such thing as Santa,__  
__But as for me and Beast boy, we believe.__  
_  
  
**Now the goose is on the table****  
****And the pudding made of fig****  
****And all the purple candles,****  
****That would just have matched the hair****  
****in Raven's wig. ****  
  
****We warned all the innocent people, ****  
****Better watch out for yourselves.****  
****They should never give a license,****  
****To a man who drives a sleigh****  
****and plays with elves.**

_Raven got run over by a reindeer__  
__Walking out from the tower Christmas Eve. __  
__You can say there is no such thing as Santa,__  
__But as for me and Beast boy, we believe._

_ONE MORE TIME!!!_

_Raven got run over by a reindeer__  
__Walking out from the tower Christmas Eve. __  
__You can say there is no such thing as Santa,__  
__But as for me and Beast boy, we believe.__  
  
_Robin: What about me? Don't I get a say in this?! And for the record, Raven doesn't wear a wig!

Dr Fritz: I don't hate Raven, I just did it for fun!


	2. I Saw Robin Kissing Santa Claus

I Saw Robin Kissing Santa Claus

Sung by Cyborg

I saw Robin kissing Santa Claus

Underneath the mistletoe last night.

He didn't see me creep

Into the room to have a peep.

He thought that I was inside my bedroom fast asleep.

Then I saw Robin tickle Santa Claus

Underneath his beard so snowy white.

There must be some mistake;

Was I really awake?

I rubbed my eyes and moved in close, a better look to take.

Then I saw Robin hugging Santa Claus.

He took his hand and pulled him to the couch.

Have I really awoke?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Then Robin moved across the room to pour them both some coke.

Then I saw Robin fondle Santa Claus,

And on his ear he nibbled now and then.

I crawled across the floor,

I hid behind the door,

I left it open just a crack so I could see some more.

Then I saw Robin undress Santa Claus.

They quickly threw their clothes on our big chair.

Well, much to my surprise,

I couldn't believe my eyes!

It wasn't Santa after all but Starfire in disguise,

When I saw Robin kissing Santa Claus

Underneath to mistletoe last night.

Oh what I laugh it would have been,

If I had REALLY seen,

Robin kissing Santa Claus last night!!!

Robin: That was NOT funny!

Starfire: I would not kiss friend, Robin! For we are just friends!

Robin: Y, yeah! Just f, friends!

Raven: Whatever.

Cyborg: Hey, I was only singin' the song that Beast boy gave me!

Raven: That explains a lot.


	3. Cyborg the cyborg

Cyborg the......cyborg?

Sung by Raven

Cyborg the......cyborg is really an okay guy  
With amazing strength and a blaster on arm  
he can make his enemies cry  
Cyborg the cyborg is a fairy tale they say  
He was made of metal but the children can tell  
you how he came to life one day  
There must have been some magic in those  
circuits that they found  
For when they placed them inside of him  
he began to dance around

Oh

Cyborg the cyborg  
was alive as he could be  
And the children say he could laugh  
and play just the same as you and me

Oh

Cyborg the cyborg went  
swimming just one day  
So he said  
"Let's run and  
we'll have some fun  
now before I rust away"  
Down to the city  
with some snowballs in his hands  
Running here and there and  
everywhere shouting  
"Get me if you can!"  
He led them down the streets of town  
right to the traffic cop  
And he only paused a moment when  
he heard him holler "Stop!"  
Cyborg the cyborg  
had to hurry on his way  
But he waved goodbye saying  
"Don't you cry  
I'll be back again some day"

Cyborg: Sniff That was beautiful, Raven!

Raven: I'm never doing that again

Starfire: Oh friend, Raven, your singing voice is as pure as the singers in the mountains of Zorgodan!

Raven: Well, I wouldn't know, because I've never been there.

Starfire: Oh, you must! Their voices are as pure as...

Robin: Let's just concentrate on the song and WHY it is the only one that doesn't diss anyone!

Cyborg: Whistles

Robin: Cyborg?

Cyborg: Okay, I won't lie. I wrote it.

Robin: Why?

Cyborg: 'cause Beastboy didn't write one about me!

Raven: And you know that how?

Cyborg: 'cause I came across the songs while dustin' his shelves.

Raven: Since when did you start dusting?

Cyborg: Since.....forget it! I read all of them and I know the next one!

Robin: Which is?


	4. Fairytale of Gotham City

Fairytale of Gotham City

(Beastboy is mourning at Terra's statue and begins to sing)

Beastboy

It was Christmas Eve babe  
In the tower  
My friends said to me, won't see another one  
And then they sang a song  
The Rare Old Mountain Dew  
I turned my face away  
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one  
Came in eighteen to one  
I've got a feeling  
This year's for me and you  
So happy Christmas  
I love you ,Terra  
I can see a better time  
When all our dreams come true

(Beastboy sadly sighs and he imagines Terra sitting next to him)

Terra

They've got cars big as bars  
They've got rivers of gold  
But the wind goes right through you  
It's no place for the old  
When you first took my hand  
On a cold Christmas Eve  
You promised me  
Broadway was waiting for me

(Terra jumps up on her feet)

Terra

You were handsome

(Beastboy does the same)

Beastboy

You were pretty  
Queen of Gotham City

Both

When the band finished playing  
They howled out for more  
Robbie Williams was swinging,  
All the drunks they were singing  
We kissed on a corner  
Then danced through the night

The boys of the GCPD choir  
Were singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day

(They dance together, then suddenly Beastboy remembers that Terra betrayed him and Terra remembers that she tried to kill the Titans. They push each other away)

Terra

You're a bum  
You're a punk

Beastboy

You're an old (belches) on junk  
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

Terra

You scumbag, you maggot  
You cheap lousy-

(Beastboy belches again)

  
Happy Christmas your-

(Beastboy belches a third time)

I pray God it's our last

(They turn with the backs to each other)

Both

The boys of the GCPD choir  
Were singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day

Beastboy

I could have been someone

Terra

Well so could anyone  
You took my dreams from me  
When I first found you

(Beastboy turns around and begs for forgiveness)

Beastboy

I kept them with me babe  
I put them with my own  
Can't make it all alone  
I've built my dreams around you

(Terra turns to see him begging, she thinks it's adorable and quickly hugs him)

Both

The boys of the GCPD choir  
Were singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day

(They both dance together, Terra disappears leaving Beastboy very disappointed)

Beastboy: Aw nuts! That's the second time this week!


	5. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Raven: Christmas again, huh?

(Robin is wearing a brown suit, white shirt and a red bow tie)

Robin: Yeah I mean it must be nearly a year since the last one

Raven: Oh it was about, let's say, twelve months?

Robin: Yeah.

Raven: You got anything for Batman this year?

Robin: Well, I thought about it, but I didn't.

Raven: Well it's the thought that counts.

Robin: Yeah that's how I see it

Raven: What do you want for Christmas?

Robin: Starfire as usual. I'm kidding myself, aren't I?

Raven: It's hopeless. Really, it's pathetic I suppose in a way

Robin: It is yeah

Starfire: Merry Christmas, Robin.

(Starfire is wearing a white dress with red polka dots)

Robin: Whoa!

Starfire: Come on Robin, let us pull a cracker!

Robin: By the look of you, darling, I think I already have!

Raven: Darling?

Starfire

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

At the Christmas party hop

Mistletoe hung where you can see

Every couple try to stop

Starfire: Come on Robby-pops!

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Let the Christmas spirit ring

Later we'll have some pumpkin pie

And we'll do some carolling

Robin: Pumpkin pie anyone?

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear

Voices singing let's be jolly

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Robin and Starfire

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Have a happy holiday

Raven: This is so corny

Everyone's dancing merrily

in the new old fashioned way

Robin: Wow I am in the most almighty Christmas groove!

I haven't had this much fun since Raven did the chicken dance!

Raven: I thought I told you not to bring that up!

Robin: If the whole of Gotham could see me now!

How do I look?

Starfire: (Playfully) Ridiculous!

Robin: (Laughs) You little tease!

(Robin finishes his pumpkin pie)

Robin: A dance, Starfire?

Starfire: I'd love to!

(They dance)

Starfire: I do love a nice sax break

Robin: Yeah me too Star, but let's wait till the record's over

(Robin gets some punch)

Robin: Star, do you think our love will last forever?

Starfire: (Blushing) No!

Robin: A couple of years maybe?

Starfire: (Trying to hide her blushing) No!

Robin: (Desperate for a "yes" answer) Do you think we'll make it to the end of the record?

Starfire: How long is that - exactly?

Both

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear

Robin: All together now!

Voices singing let's be jolly

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Cyborg: Excuse me can I sing something now?

Robin: Get lost Cyborg!

Cyborg: Well that's nice...

Both

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Let the Christmas spirit ring

Robin: Root beer anyone?

Later we'll have pumpkin pie

And we'll do some carolling

Robin: Where's Beastboy? There's plenty of pumpkin pie left!

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Have a happy holiday

(Robin wraps his arms around Starfire's waist)

Starfire: (Giggles) Do you mind Robin?

Everyone's dancing merrily

In the new old fashioned way

Robin: Wow yeah that was fantastic!

Starfire: Very nice!

Robin: Let's do it again! One two three four...

Starfire: Yay!

Robin: Five!

Both

Rockin' around the Christmas tree

Have a happy holiday

Cyborg: I think I overdid it with the pumpkin pie! Ugh!

Everyone's dancing merrily

In the new old fashioned way

Robin: Merry Christmas everybody!

Starfire: Merry Christmas everybody!

(While everyone is having fun in the tower, Beastboy is devising a scheme)

Beastboy: I'll use this one!


	6. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells!

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Sung by Beastboy

Driving through the snow, on the Gotham City road,  
Batman and Robin sat there, wishing it hadn't snowed.  
Window screen wipers moving, headlights shining bright,  
Batman turns to Robin and says "We're in for a very long night!"

_Oh!_

_  
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.  
_

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away._

As they turned a corner, the car began to slide  
Down the ice then crashed, Batman says "What a ride!"  
When they got out the car, they walked down the narrow path  
Robin sniffed the air and said "Batman, you really need a bath!"

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.  
_

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away._

They find the Joker's hideout, an old empty warehouse  
They snuck in quietly as a mouse  
Robin suddenly sneezed, by Batman he was shushed

A voice shouted "Now!" and they were now ambushed

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.  
_

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away._

They woke up tied to a chair, with laughter ringing in their ear  
It was The Joker who said "Glad you could make it here!"  
He made off with all the loot, his goons locked our heroes in a vault  
Batman turns to Robin and shouts "You know this is all your fault!"

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.  
_

_Oh!_

_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!  
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away._

Robin: Right, that's it! All those in favour of getting even with Beastboy, say aye!

Cyborg: Aye!

Raven: Aye!

Starfire: I what?

Robin: Just say yes.

Starfire: Yes!

Cyborg: Just one question.

Robin: What?

Cyborg: Do warehouses have vaults?


	7. Raven Was Eating The Christmas Tree

Raven Was Eating The Christmas Tree

Sung by Starfire and featuring Cyborg and Trigon

Twas the night before Christmas, I was lying in bed

With visions of Robin inside of my head!

He took my hand and we began to fly

And we started dancing in the starlit sky

I heard the door banging and the sound of feet

I went into the living room and what did I see?

It was Raven of course with her back to me

She's doing something strange to the Christmas tree!

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Starfire

Raven turned round and looked at me

Out of her mouth was our Christmas tree

Something was wrong about her eyes

They started to glow like a neon red light

It wasn't the Raven that we all know

As she smiled her teeth started to grow

Cyborg

A whole plate of waffles she haven't touched

What's wrong with you Raven?! Have you gone nuts?!

Starfire

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Starfire

She said...

Trigon's voice

I AM NOT RAVEN!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

MY NAME'S TRIGON, IT'S WHAT I DO!!!

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?!

IT STARTED WITH RAVEN'S BODY WHICH I TRIED TO GET OUT!!!

BUT INSTEAD I TOOK CONTROL WHICH IS JUST FINE!!!

NOW I CAN WREAK HAVOC UPON MANKIND!!!

BUT FIRST I MUST DISPOSE OF THE CHRISTMAS TREES!!!

I'M GOING TO EAT ALL THE CHRISTMAS TREES!!!

Starfire

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Starfire

I attacked, but she used the Azarath spell

My energy balls hit me and down I fell

I pulled out a box somewhere I don't know

On top of it was a big red bow

She stopped attacking and opened it up...

Cyborg

And grabbed from inside a big cream pie!

She opened her mouth and took a big bite

Starfire

I suddenly woke up it was morning light.

I'm glad to be rid of that nightmare dream

I went into the living room and what did I see?

A whole lot of presents beneath the tree

On top was one with a red bow just for....it was for me!

(Starfire quickly opens the present. It turns out to be a cream pie)

Starfire: Oh no, this is still a dream!

Starfire

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Trigon's voice: SURRENDER YOUR TREES!!!

Starfire

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Trigon's voice: I FOUND ANOTHER ONE!!!

Starfire: Stop this madness!

Starfire

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

_The Christmas tree, the Christmas tree_

_Raven was eating the Christmas tree_

Cyborg

_She's as crazy as can be!_

Trigon's voice: (Belches)

Robin: Phew! I thought this song would never end!


	8. Boyband Special

(Phone rings)

Dr. Fritz: (Picks up the phone) Hello?......Interview? Sure!.......How did I come up with this idea? Well I got bored with writing "Gotta wish 'em all!" so I started reading the Teen Titan fics and I decided since Christmas is coming up I'll do some songs for the Titans to sing…….actually it started as a prank to see how Raven fans would react to seeing her get run over by a reindeer, but thanks to Cuiasodo (my first reviewer) I made more song parodies……did anyone hate them? Just some Inuyasha obsessed fan, he or she must be kicking themselves now seeing how popular this is! I did get the odd complaints, two from Death knight Sora for the Raven bashing but everyone's a critic I guess…..I did get a lot of encouragement from my fellow fan fiction writers and I'd like to thank them for it! They also made suggestions of the next song which is flattering…….am I Canadian? No, I'm English, can you tell by the accent?.........Will I continue "Gotta wish 'em all!"? Maybe…….no problem! Bye! (puts phone down) And now, on with the show!

Boy band special

Robin, Cyborg, Beastboy and special guest star Aqualad sing:

Cyborg and Beastboy

Stay now

All

Baby if you've got to go away don't think I could take the pain,

won't you stay another day?

Oh don't leave me alone like this,

don't you say it's the final kiss,

won't you stay another day?

Aqualad

Don't you know we've come too far now,

just to go and try to throw it all away.

Thought I heard you say you love me,

that your love was gonna be here to stay.

I've only just begun to know you,

all I can say is won't you stay just one more day?

Cyborg and Beastboy

Stay now

All

Baby if you've got to go away don't think I could take the pain,

won't you stay another day?

Oh don't leave me alone like this,

don't you say it's the final kiss,

won't you stay another day?

Robin

I touch your face while you are sleeping

and hold your hand,

don't understand what's going on.

Good times we had return to haunt me,

though it's for you,

all that I do seems to be wrong.

Cyborg

Stay now

All

Baby if you've got to go away don't think I could take the pain,

won't you stay another day?

Oh don't leave me alone like this,

don't you say it's the final kiss,

won't you stay another day?

All

Baby if you've got to go away don't think I could take the pain,

won't you stay another day?

Oh don't leave me alone like this,

don't you say it's the final kiss,

won't you stay another day?

All

Baby if you've got to go away don't think I could take the pain,

won't you stay another day?

Oh don't leave me alone like this,

don't you say it's the final kiss,

won't you stay another day?

Cyborg

Stay now

Beastboy

Stay now

Robin: Wow, I feel so emotional after singing that.

Starfire: (Hugs Robin) Oh, Robin I'd never leave you!

Robin: Starfire, it was just a song, but thanks for saying that.

Starfire: Oh, Robin, I love…

(Cyborg, Beastboy, Raven and Aqualad look at the two of them)

Starfire: Never mind!

Cyborg: Hey, Aqualad, thanks for droppin' by!

Aqualad: No problem!

Raven: How come this wasn't a parody?

Robin: It was too nice?

Beastboy: I just remembered I had to go somewhere! Be right…

Cyborg: (Grabs Beastboy) Not so fast!

(Cyborg, Starfire and Robin grin at him evilly. Raven remains the same)

Beastboy: Guys? Why are you looking at me like that?


	9. Walking Round In Your Underwear

Walking round in your underwear Sung by Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, Raven and Beastboy 

Robin

Let's begin.

Cyborg

(To Beastboy wrapped in a towel)  
Are you listenin'?

Starfire

Outside  
snow is glistening.

(Cyborg removes Beastboy's towel and Beastboy is standing in nothing but his underwear. The other titans laugh except Raven)

Raven

A sickening sight!

Beastboy

I'm freezing tonight!  
Walking round in my underwear!

(Beastboy turns into a bird and tries to fly away)

Starfire

Gone away is the green bird!

Cyborg

Runnin' away?

(Catches Beastboy)

How absurd!

All except Beastboy

We'll singing a song

Cyborg

As you go along  
walkin' round in your underwear!

Starfire

In the meadow we can build a snowman!

Cyborg

(Gets out a CD)

Then we'll listen to the great James Brown!

Beastboy

(Shivers)

I'll say: can I go now?

All except Beastboy

We'll say: No man!

Robin

Just wait until we'll take you down the town!

Beastboy

(Dreamily)

Later on  
I'll conspire  
as I relax by the fire  
but now I'm afraid  
of the plans that they've made  
walking round in my underwear!

Starfire

In the meadow we can build a snowman  
and then do some shopping in town!

Beastboy

I've leaned my lesson can I go, man?

(The other titans frown at him)

I hate it so much when you guys frown!

Cyborg

Ain't it cool  
when it snows?

Raven  
I've had enough!

(Throws Beastboy's clothes at Beastboy)

Put on your clothes!

(Other titans glare at her)

I don't want to fight!

(Turns to Beastboy)

I can't stand the sight!

Beastboy

Walking round in my underwear?

Raven

Walking round in your underwear

Other titans

Walking round in your underwear!

Beastboy: Aww, man! I'm never gonna show my face in public again!


	10. Two Songs About Robin & Starfire!

Lonely This Christmas

Sung by Robin

(Robin is standing by the window)

Try to imagine, a tower that's not a home  
Try to imagine, a Christmas all alone  
That's where I'll be  
Since you left me  
My tears could melt the snow  
What can I do, without you  
I've got no place, no place to go

(Moves away from the window)

It'll be lonely this Christmas   
Without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Lonely and cold  
It'll be cold, so cold  
Without you to hold  
This Christmas

(Goes into the kitchen area, gets a soda from the fridge, drinks and then leans against the fridge)

Each time I remember, the day you went away  
How I would listen to the things you wanted to say  
I just break down as I look around  
And the only things I see  
Are emptiness and loneliness  
And an unlit Christmas tree

(Walks out of the kitchen area)

It'll be lonely this Christmas   
Without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Lonely and cold  
It'll be cold, so cold  
Without you to hold  
This Christmas

(Sits on the couch and looks at a photograph from last Christmas of him and Starfire)

Do you remember last year, when, you and I were together  
We never thought there'd be an end  
And I remember looking at you then  
And I remember thinking that Christmas must have been made for us  
'cause darling, this is the time of year that you really, you really need love  
And it means so very, very much

(Tears flow in his eyes)

So if you're lonely this Christmas   
Without me to hold  
Well it will be so very lonely  
Lonely and cold

(Wipes away his tears)

It'll be lonely this Christmas   
Without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Lonely and cold  
It'll be cold so cold without you to hold  
This Christmas

(Gets out his picture of Starfire)

Merry Christmas, Starfire my darling, wherever you are please remember, I will always love you

Starfire: Oh, Robin!

(Robin quickly looks up)

Robin: Starfire! You came back to me!

(They run and hug each other)

Robin: I missed you so much!

Starfire: That's so sweet, but I only went Christmas shopping with Raven!

Robin: Star, don't say that, you'll ruin the mood!

Starfire: Sorry.

Mistletoe And Wine

Sung by Robin, Starfire and the residents of Gotham City

(Starfire and Robin are now walking holding hands around Gotham City. They come to a church and see a model display of the birth of Jesus. Starfire goes over to take a closer look)

Robin

The child is a king

(Starfire turns around)

The carollers sing,  
The old has passed, there's a new beginning.  
Dreams of santa, dreams of snow,  
Fingers numb, faces aglow.

(Starfire walks over to Robin, they take each other by the hand and continue walking)

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine  
Children singing Christian rhyme  
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree  
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

(They stop and face each other)

Starfire  
A time for living, a time for believing  
A time for trusting, not deceiving,  
Love and laughter and joy ever after,

(Robin begins to make a move)

Ours for the taking, just follow the master.

(Starfire pulls Robin to the ice skating rink before he had chance to finish his move. They now are ice skating together)

Both  
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine  
Children singing Christian rhyme  
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree  
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

(They walk down the park)

Robin  
A time for giving, a time for getting

Starfire  
A time for forgiving and for forgetting

Robin  
Christmas is love, Christmas is peace

Starfire  
A time for hating and fighting to cease

Robin, Starfire and the residents  
Christmas time, mistletoe and wine  
Children singing Christian rhyme  
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree  
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

Residents

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine  
Children singing Christian rhyme  
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree  
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

Residents

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine  
Children singing Christian rhyme  
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree  
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

(Starfire and Robin are now sitting on a bench in the park looking at the moon and the stars. Starfire leans her head on Robin's shoulder. Robin wraps his arm around her. It begins to snow)


	11. Now It's The Bad Guys Turn!

Now it's the bad guys turn

Sung by Gizmo, Jinx and Mammoth

Mammoth

I broke a plank on Cyborg's head!  
Then he kicked my butt!

Jinx  
I hid a frog in Starfire's bed!  
Then she kicked my butt!

Gizmo  
I slipped some bolts in Robin's cake!

Jinx  
I made Beastboy eat a steak!

Mammoth  
I put in Raven's cloak, a snake!

All  
Then they kicked our butts!

Chorus  
Oh, we're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
All the Teen Titans are mad!  
We're getting nuttin' for Christmas  
'Cause we ain't been nuttin' but bad!

Gizmo  
We locked up Beastboy in a zoo!

Jinx  
The others kicked our butts!

Mammoth  
I swapped Raven's shampoo with glue!

Gizmo  
Oh man, she kicked your butt!

Jinx  
I did a dance on Starfire's plants!

Gizmo  
Put itching powder in Robins pants!

Mammoth  
Filled Cyborg's car with ants!

All  
Then they kicked our butts!

Chorus  
So, we're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
All the Teen Titans are mad!  
We're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas  
'Cause we ain't been nuttin' but bad!

Gizmo  
We won't be seeing Santa Claus  
Those guys kicked our butts!

Jinx  
He won't come visit us because  
Those guys kicked our butts!

All  
Next year we'll be going straight!  
Next year we'll be good, just wait!  
We'd start now, but it's too late!  
Those guys kicked our…

Robin: There they are! Titans go!

Gizmo, Jinx and Mammoth: Uh oh!


	12. Teen Aid

Teen Aid

Robin

It's Christmastime, there's no need to be afraid  
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade

Starfire  
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy  
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

Beastboy  
But say a prayer to pray for the other ones  
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun

Raven

There's a world outside your window  
And it's a world of dread and fear

Aqualad   
Where the only water flowing

Aqualad and Raven

Is the bitter sting of tears

Aqualad and Speedy  
And the Christmas bells that ring there  
Are the clanging chimes of doom

Wildebeest  
Well tonight thank God it's us instead of you

Robin and Starfire  
And there won't be snow in Gotham City this Christmastime  
The greatest gift we'll get this year is life

Beastboy and Raven  
(Oooh) Where the smallest never grows, no fun or happiness flows

All

Do we all know it's Christmastime at all?

Robin  
Here's to you!

Speedy

Raise a glass for everyone

Cyborg

(Raps)

Spare a thought for this yuletide for the deprived

If the table was turned would you survive?

Beastboy  
Here's to us!

Aqualad

Not having any sort of fun

Cyborg

(Raps)

You ain't gotta feel guilt just selfless

Give a little help to the helpless

All  
Do we all know it's Christmastime at all?

All  
Feed the teens

Feed the teens

Feed the teens  
Let us know it's Christmastime again  
Feed the teens  
Let us know it's Christmastime again

Feed the teens  
Let us know it's Christmastime again

Feed the teens  
Let us know it's Christmastime again

Beastboy: Wow, this sure is gonna raise a lot of dough!

Robin: Yeah…sure…you guys wanna go for a pizza?

Others: Yeah.

(Robin and the others leave)

Beastboy: Hey, guys! Wait up! I wanna know your honest opinion!


	13. Christmas In Gotham

Christmas in Gotham

Sung by Slade

(On stage, a bright light shines and Slade appears dressed in a suit and a Santa hat)

Slade: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It really is a pleasure to be here on Christmas Eve. A warm and emotional time of year for all of us. And I'd like to sing a song for all (points at audience) of you.

Slade

It's Christmas in Gotham.

All the people sing.

It's Christmas in Gotham.

Hark. Hark. Those cell phones ring.

It's Christmas in Gotham.

The snow falls from the sky,

But it's nice and warm, and everyone

Looks smart and wears a tie.

It's Christmas in Gotham.

There's great films on TV:

There's 'Jurassic Park' twice an hour

And 'The Omen' One, Two, and Three.

(Starfire and Raven come on dressed as Santa girls)

Starfire and Raven

There's gifts for all the family

Underneath the tree

(Robin, Beastboy and Cyborg come on dressed as choir boys)

Robin, Beastboy and Cyborg

There's PS2s and Gamecubes

And the latest DVDs!

All

It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Gotham!

Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!

Every single day

Is Christmas day!

(A pair of angel wings and a halo appears on Slade. He flies to the sky)

It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Gotham!

Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!

Every single day

Is Christmas day!

Dr Fritz: Sorry guys, this was not my best idea. I really wanted Slade to sing "Merry Christmas Santa Claus (You're A Lovely Guy)", but I couldn't find it anywhere. "Christmas In Heaven" was the second choice and you can see how bad it turned out. I'll do better for the finale, I promise!


	14. The Finale

The Finale

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Sung by Starfire

(All the titans are outside. Starfire flies around)

I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There's just one thing I need  
I don't care about presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree

(Flies down to Robin)

I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you.

(The titans are having a snowball fight except for Raven who is meditating under the tree. Beastboy throws a snowball at her, she gets mad and uses the Azarath spell on all his snowballs to get him back)

I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There is just one thing I need  
I don't care about presents  
underneath the Christmas tree

(Starfire throws one at Robin, Robin throws one back, She throws three more at him, he tackles her but they both roll down the hill together)

I don't need to hang my stocking  
There upon the fireplace  
Santa Claus won't make me happy  
With a toy on Christmas day

(Robin lands on his back and Starfire on top of him. They look at each other and smile)

I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you  
You baby

(The titans are inside preparing Christmas dinner. Cyborg is stuffing the turkey and Beastboy is cooking his tofu. Raven is meditating in the living room. Robin and Starfire are setting the table)

I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I won't even wish for snow  
I'm just gonna keep on waiting  
Underneath the mistletoe  
I won't make a list and send it  
To the North Pole for Saint Nick  
I won't even stay awake to  
Hear those magic reindeer click

(Starfire looks dreamily at Robin)

'Cause I just want you here tonight  
Holding on to me so tight  
What more can I do  
Baby all I want for Christmas is you  
You

(At dinner, Cyborg and Beastboy munch away at their food. Raven eats slowly without being distracted. Robin and Starfire are having trouble pulling a cracker)

All the lights are shining  
So brightly everywhere  
And the sound of children's  
Laughter fills the air  
And everyone is singing

(The cracker finally breaks with a bang, this makes Robin and Starfire jump. They look at each other and laugh)

I hear those sleigh bells ringing  
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need  
Won't you please bring my baby to me

(The titans are now sat around the fire singing Christmas songs)

Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for  
I just want to see my baby  
Standing right outside my door

(Robin and Starfire hold hands)

Oh I just want him for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
Baby all I want for Christmas is  
You

All I want for Christmas is you baby  
All I want for Christmas is you baby.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Sung by Raven and Beastboy

(They are sat on the sofa together)

Raven  
I really can't stay

Beastboy  
Baby, it's cold outside

Raven  
I've got to go away

Beastboy  
Baby, it's cold outside

Raven  
This evening has been

Beastboy  
Been hoping that you'd drop in

Raven  
So very nice

Beastboy  
I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

Raven  
Please, I'm starting to worry

Beastboy  
Beautiful, what's your hurry?

Raven  
I must meditating on the floor

Beastboy  
Listen to the fireplace roar

Raven  
So I'd better scurry

Beastboy  
Beautiful, please don't hurry

Raven  
Well, maybe just a half a drink more

Beastboy  
Put some music on while I pour

Raven  
The others might think

Beastboy  
Baby, it's bad out there

Raven  
Say, what's in this drink?

Beastboy  
No cabs to be had out there

Raven  
I wish I knew how

Beastboy  
Your eyes are like starlight now

Raven  
To break this spell

Beastboy  
I'll take your cloak, your hair looks swell

Raven  
I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Beastboy  
Mind If I move a little closer?

Raven  
At least I'm gonna say that I tried

Beastboy  
What's the sense in hurting my pride?

Raven  
I really can't stay

Beastboy  
Baby, don't hold out

Raven  
But it's cold outside

Beastboy  
C'mon baby!

Raven  
I simply must go

Beastboy  
Baby, it's cold outside

Raven  
The answer is no

Beastboy  
Ooh baby, it's cold outside

Raven  
The evening has been

Beastboy  
I'm lucky that you dropped in

Raven  
So nice and warm

Beastboy  
Look out the window at that storm

Raven  
The others will get suspicious

Beastboy  
Man, your lips look delicious!

Raven  
They'll be there waiting at the door

Beastboy  
Waves upon a tropical shore

Raven  
My father, Trigon's mind is vicious

Beastboy  
Gosh, your lips look delicious

Raven  
Well, maybe just half a drink more

Beastboy  
Never such a blizzard before

Raven  
I've got to go out

Beastboy  
Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there

Raven  
What's this relationship about?

Beastboy  
It's up to your knees out there

Raven  
You've really been grand

Beastboy  
Your eyes are like starlight now

Raven  
But don't you see?

Beastboy  
How can you do this thing to me?

Raven  
There's bound to be talk tomorrow

Beastboy  
Making my life long sorrow

Raven  
At least there will be plenty implied

Beastboy  
If you caught pneumonia and died

Raven  
I really can't stay

Beastboy  
Get over that old out

Raven  
But it's cold outside

Beastboy  
Baby, it's cold outside

Raven  
It's cold outside

Beastboy  
It's cold out there, can't you stay awhile longer, baby?

Raven  
Well…..I really shouldn't…alright

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Sung by Cyborg

(He is wearing a Santa suit)

You better watch out  
You better not cry  
Better not pout  
I'm telling you why  
Santa Claus is coming to town

(Santa checks the naughty and nice list)

He's making a list  
And checking it twice;  
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice  
Santa Claus is coming to town

(Santa enters the tower and enters Starfire's room puts a present in her boot)

He sees you when you're sleeping

(He goes into Beastboy's room. Beastboy is wide awake and was waiting for Santa. Santa gives Beastboy a lump of coal and leaves. Beastboy is disappointed)

He knows when you're awake

(Santa puts presents in the other titans stockings and under the tree, then leaves)

He knows if you've been bad or good  
So be good for goodness sake!  
O! You better watch out!   
You better not cry  
Better not pout  
I'm telling you why  
Santa Claus is coming to town!  
Santa Claus is coming to town!  
Santa Claus is coming to town!

Santa Baby

Sung by Kitten

(She is dressed in a pink dress with white fur)

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl

(Halo appears above her head)

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue  
I'll wait up for you dear  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Think of all the fun I've missed

(Picks up a picture of Robin)

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be oh so good

(Fingers crossed behind her back)

If you'd check off my Christmas list  
Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's  
Not a lot

(Smiles)

I've been an angel all year  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed  
To a platinum mine  
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks

(Pulls out a check and points at where to sign)

Sign your 'X' on the line  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Come and trim my Christmas tree  
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me  
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
I DON'T MEAN A PHONE!!!

(Lies seductively on her bed)

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
Hurry down the chimney tonight  
Hurry down the chimney tonight

White Christmas

Sung by Robin

(Cyborg plays the piano, while Robin sings)

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
Just like the ones I used to know   
Where the treetops glisten  
and children listen  
To hear sleigh bells in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas   
With every Christmas card I write  
May your days be merry and bright  
And may all your Christmases be white

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
With every Christmas card I write  
May your days be merry and bright  
And may all your Christmases be white

Happy Christmas (The War Is Over)

Sung by everyone

(The titans, Aqualad, Speedy, Wildebeest, Kitten, Gizmo, Mammoth, Jinx, Slade and all the residents have all join hands and sway from side to side)

So this is Christmas  
And what have you done  
Another year over   
And a new one just begun  
And so this is Christmas  
I hope you have fun  
The near and the dear ones  
The old and the young 

A very merry Christmas  
And a happy New Year  
Let's hope it's a good one  
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas  
For weak and for strong  
For rich and the poor ones   
The world is so wrong  
And so Happy Christmas  
For black and for white  
For yellow and red ones  
Let's stop all the fight

A very merry Christmas  
And a happy New Year  
Let's hope it's a good one  
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas  
And what have we done  
Another year over  
And a new one just begun  
And so Happy Christmas  
I hope you have fun   
The near and the dear one  
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas  
And a happy New Year  
Let's hope it's a good one  
Without any fear

War is over if you want it  
War is over now

Everyone: Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!

The End

Credits

Raven Got Run Over By A Reindeer! : Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (Elmo and Pasty)

I Saw Robin Kissing Santa Claus: I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus (Kip Adotta)

Cyborg The Cyborg: Frosty The Snowman (The Beach Boys)

Fairytale Of Gotham City: Fairytale Of New York (The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl)

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree (Mel & Kim)

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells! (Written by yours truly): Jingle bells

Raven Was Eating The Christmas Tree: Santa Was Eating The Christmas Tree (Dysfunctional Family Band)

Boyband Special: Stay Another Day (East 17)

Walking Round In Your Underwear: Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Two Songs About Robin & Starfire! : Lonely This Christmas (Mud) Mistletoe and Wine (Cliff Richard)

Now It's The Bad Guys Turn! : Nuttin' For Christmas

Teen Aid: Do They Know It's Christmas? (Band Aid 20)

Christmas In Gotham: Christmas In Heaven (Monty Python)

The Finale: All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey) Baby, it's cold outside, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Santa Baby, White Christmas, Happy Christmas (The War Is Over) (John Lennon)

Doctor Fritz: Yes, I always stay behind after the credits too….well, bye!


End file.
